GOODBYE OR HELLO???

March 13, 2008

I don’t understand why I’m feeling this way.

My first year of teaching is almost over. I have to meet the deadlines with tons of paper works, grades to compute, forms to accomplish and clearance to sign.

I’m happy because a few days from now, I will be FREE again. FREE from the heart aches and cruelty of situation. Even though I’m happy, I can feel the sadness, loneliness, and confusion.

Sadness

Sadness penetrates my nerves because I have to let go of people who are very close to me. I bid farewell to my bubbly and endearing students. They’re extra special to me even if sometimes I’m mad or sarcastic to them. I also have to let go of precious colleagues who taught me how to be strong. Guys of M5(or Mythical 5: ai, ly an, zen, and kath and the fifth member is me, as what Mr.Jacinto had called us.) thank you for teaching me how to be strong and to stand still amidst difficulty and helplessness. The battle that we’ve won shows how noble teachers we are.I expect that we will be able to fulfill our promises even if we will be having our own career path. Guys your very special to me.

Loneliness

Am I meant to be alone??? They say being single is a blessing. I don’t have any objections with that. I had my past relationships (or should I say flings?) but I still can’t find the magic. recently, I’m in a crossroad. I’m torn between two people who offer the love that I need. I seek help to M5 and It seems neither of the two is the right person for me. It hurts to be left with no one but I know it is the right thing to do. The wounds will heal in the right time. I’d rather be alone than be happy with someone and bear the fear of hurting others.

Confusion

"Which path will you go?" said POCAHONTAS

Pressures hits my head everyday. What will happen to my life??? Will I be Successful or not? There are choices in front of me and I don’t know which one will I choose. "GRAB THE BEST OFFER." a friend of mine said. But what if the best offer will not make me happy? I know god will give a sign and help me direct the BIGGEST SHOW of my life.

The song Rainbow said that there’s a rainbow after a rain. The negative feelings I have right now will be replace by the joy of meeting new people and facing new adventures of my life. I know God has a purpose. This life has full of surprises and I think I should end this not with period but with an …